Flynn’s off to China on Tuesday, and we had a picnic for him today. We ate lots of unhealthy food and drank lots of unhealthy drink, and got really rained out and took lots of photos on flynn’s new camera so he won’t forget us. I had a great time, finally got to talk to Chris properly. And Flynn. So stuff is all worked out.

And maybe it’s worked out with Ken too, I don’t know. He’s currently giving me another lecture 😛 but then I guess I asked for it. I hate the way he does that, he’s (almost) always right. Whenever stuff like this happens, he makes me face up to awful truths that I have to deal with, which is so painful, but something that has to happen, and in the end I end up thanking him. Stupid painful life.

Anyway, today was sad, cause it was the last time I will spend with flynn, apart from at the airport. We bummed at peppercorn park for hours, and the guys played cricked with a wine bottle and we just chilled. I tried to learn how to salsa from Nadia, but her way was too different to Simon’s and Josh’s aunty, so I couldn’t really get it. Who would have thought you could salsa in so many different ways?

It started raining lightly so we gradually moved under the picnic shelter thing, and then it got heavier and we all got drenched cause the shelter leaked and we only had two umbrellas for 12 people. We got back to Peter’s eventually, soaked through. Jon had just got there, and he missed the rain so he was dry. The rest of us tried to dry off. Steve did his virtuoso piano thing. Being a girl, I couldn’t take my shirt off and put it in the drier, so I stayed wet and cold 😐

We went to the pub for dinner, and then tried to get to the RSL club, but they wouldn’t let us in cause we looked like white trash (excpet for Jon and Cyrus, who looked like Asian/Middleeastern trash). So instead we sat at McDonalds like hobos. Flynn decided we needed to order mour food through the drive through, so we walked through and made car noises. The woman in the drice through called her supervisor. He made us go inside to order 😦
We stayed at maccas for ages, until the supervisor glared at us in a scary manner.

So the verdict on today is, no, the guys don’t hate me! Whooo! But yes, yes I am an arse.

I don’t think I’m ever going to get this right. I was wrong when I lied to myself for so long. I was wrong when I let Jon down so quickly. And now I am wrong in my behaviour, always. If I act too happy around him, it’s heartless. If I act too sad around him, it’s heartbreaking. I don’t even understand my own feelings, how on earth am I going to find this fabled middle ground?


3 thoughts on “

  1. echowhatisnot

    *big hug*
    It’s the first time in a while that I’ve visited old LJ, so I feel I should leave a comment to mark the occassion.
    I wish I could write something amazing. Something witty and wise and helpful and empathetic all in one, that makes you feel a bit better. But seeing as though I’m unable to do any of those things, I will instead remind you that I’m here, if you want to talk, or a hug, or someone to go crazy with. And that you are the greatest and I love you lots. And that we should catch up again soon, perhaps have a less depressing Muse meeting.
    And… that I still have your tree picture in my phone

    1. darvids0n

      *agrees with Bec*
      I can’t think of something inspiring.. so I’ll just say that you’re so so cool and we love you. Nice try with the drive through though 😛


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