Why the end of the Cold War is Rad
The fall of the Berlin Wall marks a bodacious new era in world history.
To the max.
For nearly 40 years, the world has lived in the totally heavy threat of a nuclear holocaust. Everywhere you go, there’s always some Barney who’s like, “you can’t skate here you dirty communist”. Now the wall has fallen, hopefully these sqaures will take a chill pill and recognise that we no longer have to worry about the threat of bitchin’ Russian commies taking over our lives and we should finally be allowed to skate free.
This is also heaps gnarly because it means those dorks who spent time learning Russian will finally get a life!
Someone was also saying that this is also pretty ripping for the Russian people. I agree. Instead of a government that like, constantly had a cow at its own people, they can live in peace and finally get their hands on some bogus Western consumer goods. How trippendicular would it be to see all those Ruskis get their hands on some Artari action? Donkey Kong in red square? Cowabunga!
This also means that the military industrial complex can finally take a chill pill. Some dweeb professor was saying in my class the other day that because the government doesn’t have to buy weapons, they can pay for healthcare and stuff. I’m like, “no shit, Sherlock!”.
What I really hope for is that instead of healthcare, the government buys slap bands for everyone. I’m sick of saying “snaps” and not being about to slap down hard on some fresh wrists after I do something chillin’. When I was playing that crazy new hackey-sack game the other day, I made the craziest circle kick and then was fully like, “snaps, how fresh is my beat”, but no one had a slap band to help me really kick a celebration.
The only downside is that now the Russians are gone, who will play the bad guys in the movies? Action movies without Soviet submarines will only make me barf. Stephen Speilberg, eat my shorts!